I got my wife back.

It was August 2002 and I had just broken up with Diane McFayden, what a fucking mess that chic was. I was drawing blood on a patient on the 2nd floor, as i passed the nurses station I saw this very pretty nurse with an unbelievable rack. After Diane I had pretty much sworn off women, I hadn't found one in a long time that wasn't either plain batty or downright psycho. But this nurse had something...........unique. Just a happy way about her, and she did have that rack, so I filled out my patient log at the nurses station instead of in the patients room. I gave her the old Joey Tribbiani "How you doin'?" type line. She responded and we had a pretty deep and intelligent conversation about life, divorce, kids men women and such. I learned in this conversation that she had 4 kids the youngest one being 7 months old.......I was like YEESH!! You're very pretty, you seem nice ( wich gets me even more than pretty ), but I gotta go over there now.
About a month later a mutual friend calls me and says Hey Barb really likes you you should take her out. The thought of those kids still scared me but Barb was just so damned nice, and pretty, and she did have that rack. So I called her on her floor and asked her to go out, unbeknownst to me this was the first real date she had been on in 13 years. She was stressed to say the least. Kinda flattering.
Well we went out and the cliff note version of the date is that is was the best date I have ever been on. We had lived completely opposite lives but we still just clicked. I was struck with an overwhelming sense that she would be my future wife. So we started dating. We spent a lot of time at her house simply because I had so many bills back then I couldn't afford to do much and Barb always had a hard time getting a babysitter. There was something very comforting about getting off work going to her house and seeing her in a sexy little nighty waiting for me on the couch. We would talk for hours and hours. That click that I felt when we were on our date was actually a full blown connection, the best and strongest one I've ever had with another human. So I fell in love with her. Later her dad got sick and her mom couldn't watch her kids anymore, so I quite my job and stayed home while she worked. We also had a little girl of our own too. The problem with our arrangement was we were both doing the jobs we were weakest at. I am a horrible housekeeper and Barb mentally cannot tolerate working a lot. A family of 7 on one income is hard to do even if it's a nurses income. After having Cheyenne she got her tubes tied because 5 kids is enough. Unfortunately she suffered post-partom depression and tying her tube sent her into early peri-menopause. We realy didn't figure out what the problems were right away and we entered a 3 year period of a lackluster love life and every month we would fight right when Barb ovulated or right before she started her cycle. Not just ordinary arguments either. They were not physical at all, but they were dirty and mean to say the least. I satrted to build up some serious resentments. I had given up my job, my dreams and my independance to take on her kids and I was getting treated like this. I absolutely had a part in the problems, my issues and problems definately played a part in our problems. Anyway a few months ago Barb started taking Zoloft. I was very dubious of anti-depressants because I believe they are totally over-presecribed and used as a crutch. In Barb's case however the results have been magical. The Zoloft has taken away the most severe symptoms of her peri-menopause. She still has a completely normal affect, she will cry at a sad movie or laugh at a funy one. Our lackluster love life has restarted with renewed vigor and she looks at me the way she used to. We even argued once, but it was a real argument about a real issue and we solved it, neither of us were mean, just........passionate. We definately have our connection back. I love sleeping with her, I love talking to her. I love doing little stuff for her like rubbing her feet after a long day at work. Something was still different though, I still felt angry inside and I still had a lot of resnentment about the 3 previous years. I figured it would just go away, the better we got the better I would get. I should know better, resentment and anger is like an infection it only gets better when you treat it, and I was ignoring it. Well we were drving home the other night and I just burst at the seams, I couldn't keep it in any longer, and I smashed the shit out of the windsheild. It was the only thing I could do. It seemed like my only option. After many hours of dealing with the reprocussions of those actions and sleeping my whiskey ( Irishmen drinking Irish whiskey shuld be fucking outlawed ) off. I woke up with a crystal clear epiphany. Barb did exactly what she needed to do to fix the situation, she is not reponsible for my actions in the least. She actually had a definable medical issue and found a way to treat it and is exactly the person I fell so deeply in love with 5 years ago. It was me that had changed into something I didn't like. I was the angry one. It took only that realization to make me let go of it. I wish I would have figured that out BEFORE I decided to go all Mike Tyson on a really hard sharp surface but I didn't. I'm done holding on to this, it's over. I have an amazing family, I have a beautiful, kind, intelligent wife with a helluva rack. I choose that. I choose my family.

I got my wife back.