Sentiment
I don't exactly know where to start on this post.
There is a dude named Mark Riefkind who has mantained an inspirational blog.
He has learned how to push his body in good health and bad, in fatct I can't describe it here is the link
http://rifsblog.blogspot.com/
Ya know how 2/3 of america is overweight and fully 1/3 is obese, well we wouldn't be if we were like him.
I don't know exactly how to describe what happened to me but I was down to 260 before Halloween, then through the debauchery of Thanksgiving and Christmas I gained 20 lbs.
I had a revulsion, a revulsion to being me, a revulsion to what I had become.
I changed, I became something else. I HATE, fucking HATE, what I have done to myself.
I hate, more than I have ever hated, the fact that I haven't set and reached my goals.
I need to confess something, if it weren't for my wife and kids I probably would have shot myself when I steped on the scale at Christmas. This is completely literal, not an exageration. I would rather be dead that live with constant failure.
Well while looking over Rif's blog I noticed he added my blog to his list.
This may seem like a minor thing to ya'll out in blogland, but it isn't to me.
You see the character of the people on his blog list is amazing, trainers, elite athletes, RKC's and things of that sort.
Then there is my blog, me, fat, a failure for the last 10 or 12 years, there is my blog on his list.
I don't feel like I have EARNED the right to be there.
I make a solomn promise ( and I always keep my word ) that I will ABSOLUTELY, WITHOUT A DOUBT, MOTHER FUCKING EARN, the distinct PRIVELAGE to be on that list.
I cannot and will not fail this time, I really need to earn what he gave me. Even if he doesn't know how much it means to me.
Peace, love and success to all.
There is a dude named Mark Riefkind who has mantained an inspirational blog.
He has learned how to push his body in good health and bad, in fatct I can't describe it here is the link
http://rifsblog.blogspot.com/
Ya know how 2/3 of america is overweight and fully 1/3 is obese, well we wouldn't be if we were like him.
I don't know exactly how to describe what happened to me but I was down to 260 before Halloween, then through the debauchery of Thanksgiving and Christmas I gained 20 lbs.
I had a revulsion, a revulsion to being me, a revulsion to what I had become.
I changed, I became something else. I HATE, fucking HATE, what I have done to myself.
I hate, more than I have ever hated, the fact that I haven't set and reached my goals.
I need to confess something, if it weren't for my wife and kids I probably would have shot myself when I steped on the scale at Christmas. This is completely literal, not an exageration. I would rather be dead that live with constant failure.
Well while looking over Rif's blog I noticed he added my blog to his list.
This may seem like a minor thing to ya'll out in blogland, but it isn't to me.
You see the character of the people on his blog list is amazing, trainers, elite athletes, RKC's and things of that sort.
Then there is my blog, me, fat, a failure for the last 10 or 12 years, there is my blog on his list.
I don't feel like I have EARNED the right to be there.
I make a solomn promise ( and I always keep my word ) that I will ABSOLUTELY, WITHOUT A DOUBT, MOTHER FUCKING EARN, the distinct PRIVELAGE to be on that list.
I cannot and will not fail this time, I really need to earn what he gave me. Even if he doesn't know how much it means to me.
Peace, love and success to all.
posted by Royce at 9:48 PM
3 Comments:
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dude, I can't tell you how much this post of your touched me.I put you on the list because I like and admire how much you care aobut what you are doing physically. you are truly on the journey, with all it's up and downs and good days and bad.
If I am an inspiration to you then so much the better!
You know the deal, it's not how many time syou get knocked down( even if it's by yourself) it's how many times you get up.
Punishing yourself for failing to reach your expectation is alright. I do it all the time myself.
as Steve maxwell said at the cert to his students, right before he lead the Crucible, the bear crawl -2 hand swing graduation workout:
" I have failed YOU so I must punish myself." then he did and it was great to watch!
you are a good guy royce, you will get what you want.
oh yeah, and I feel the same way when Pavel gave me my Senior Instructorship. I will earn that to the best of my ability every day.One of my most proud accomplishments so I do know how you feel.
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